Drinking Lesson #1
Alcohol and fireworks don’t mix.
“New Year’s Eve in Amsterdam. After many hours of boozing, we decided to let off some fireworks – in the rain. I thought shielding the cracker with my face while lighting it was a GREAT idea. #RIPeyebrows.”
Drinking Lesson #2
Alcohol and animals don't mix.
“Stealing a llama on a drunken night out and taking it for a ride on a tram - sounds like a good night? But also an easy way to get yourself arrested!”
Drinking Lesson #3
Keep an eye on the alcohol content.
“Normal night at the pub, I made the mistake of opting for the high-octane scrumpy cider just to ‘try something new’. Three pints of 10% cider didn’t agree with me and I realised too late that all that drink was on the verge of coming back up so I slapped a hand over my mouth to limit the damage. Turns out this doesn’t stop the vomit, it just redirects the flow – the first time I’ve ever thrown up through my nose and I really, really hope it’s the last."
Drinking Lesson #4
Solo drunk adventures never end well.
"My friends and I went on a trip to the coast for the weekend and went out clubbing. I woke up the next morning with no recollection of what had happened or why I was covered in fur… until my friends showed me photos of me lying on the beach surrounded by a pack of dogs. Apparently I’d left the club without telling anyone and had not been seen until several hours later, wandering around with a pack of strays convinced I was one of them. My jeans still have a slight smell of dog…"
Drinking Lesson #5
Don’t give in to peer pressure – even on your birthday.
"For my 18th birthday some friends from school took me out drinking at our local. Drinking games led to throwing up and passing out in the toilets, where I lay until one of my friends kicked down the door. They dragged me down the stairs and drunkenly tried to give me CPR until one of the bouncers pushed them off and took over. Rest of the night was spent at hospital to make sure I didn’t have alcohol poisoning… Not the 18th I had planned and once they knew I was OK, my parents were seriously hacked off!"
Drinking Lesson #6
Alcohol will not improve your dancing abilities.
“On holiday in Greece and after a few cocktails in a bar I decided to get up and dance on the counter. All fine for the first couple of minutes but then I slipped on someone’s spilled drink and fell onto a pile of glasses behind the bar. Cue three hours in hospital and no swimming for the rest of the holiday due to all the stitches in my hand.”
Drinking Lesson #7
Take care giving taxi drivers instructions while under the influence.
“The best way to rack up a monster taxi bill – drunkenly order a taxi to drive you across three countries. Never again!!”
Drinking Lesson #8
Don't take your passport on a big night out.
“Getting very, very drunk in Manchester one night – and waking up the next day in Paris. Getting back was a major punishment for my head and for my wallet.”
Drinking Lesson #9
Don't drink beyond your limits just to get your money's worth.
“A new restaurant with unlimited pizza and prosecco? Sounds great! But it turned out to just be unlimited prosecco. To get our money's worth we had to drink a glass every 9 minutes – I don't remember the rest of the night.”